One of the greatest life lessons that no one tells you about
Speech written March 1, 2018
Have you ever noticed that people never really share what they have learned in life? Today I want to share something that I have learn thus far.
It’s that… the answers, are in the questions.
First, a story. It was 6:15am on a late summer morning at Endicott College in Beverly, MA. The fog was beginning to lift off of the turf field as the girls began practice. There I was, standing on the sidelines in my khaki pants as the head student athletic trainer for a division 3 women’s soccer team. I was proud to be there, I had made it so far. I had spent countless hours in the library, learned the entire human anatomy, twice, and completed over 500 clinical hours with all different types of sports.
As I was standing on the sideline, I noticed something wasn’t right. I noticed that I wasn’t happy. My mind started to wander into the land of questions.
What am I doing here?
Why am I doing this?
Am I happy?
Am I being fulfilled by this work?
The answers began to surface.
No, I’m not happy. I’m actually resistant and miserable 85% of the time. No, I’m not fulfilled. I’m doing this because I’ve been doing it for so long, and it was my dream years and years ago. I’m here because I have to be not because I want to be. I instantly felt lost. “Oh no. What have I done.” I THOUGHT
As a few days passed, I discovered something. I noticed that asking one quality of question made me feel heavy, dark, and negative. Where as another quality of question made me feel light, optimistic and energized. I zoomed out and looked at my situation. I realized that the answers are in the questions. I asked myself, what quality of life do I want? My answer was a passionate, positive, energized, impactful one. Then I said to myself, okay, that sounds great. From this moment on let’s only ask the questions that support that desired quality of life.
Fast forward 1 week, it was 5 days before my senior year of college started. I sat down with my advisor, this tall, intimidating, english woman. She had been an athletic trainer in the olympics, for pro sports teams, etc. She was a lady boss, let’s just say that. I sat down across from her in her office. The chair was small and lower than her desk, I imagine she did that on purpose. She asked me, “So Tori what’s going on.” I told her that I have been reflecting a lot over the past few days and have decided to leave the athletic training program and move in a different direction. She was shocked to say the least. She said that I should persist and push through to finish out, considering that I only had 9 more months to go in college. Grounded in my certainty, I said, “I respect your thoughts but I really want to live a life of fulfillment and this isn’t the path for me. I am going to do something that lights me up, I’m not sure exactly what that is yet, but I’m taking steps and asking the right questions to get there.”
After debating for my life, I left the office feeling like I had taken a forty pound pack off of my back after years. I may have been floating out of the building.
We don’t realize the power that we can unleash in our lives by asking good questions.
You see, there is a genie in our minds that makes things happen for us. When we ask the genie disempowering questions, he or she will give us disempowering answers. When we ask the genie empowering questions, he or she will give us empowering answers. Whatever we look for, we will find.
The people out there that are feeling down and depressed are typically allowing their focus to be on disempowering questions. Continually asking themselves things that make them feel overloaded and overwhelmed. This pattern of questions and focus limits their quality of life. Can we change how we are feeling? Why yes we can! The quickest way to do it is by asking a different quality of question. Allowing our minds to wander down the road of possibility.
Allow me to put this into context for you. When I was at the crossroads of changing majors I could have asked, “How could I have wasted 3 years of school, over 500 clinical hours and grey hairs from stress on this major that I hate?” INSTEAD, I asked, “How can I take what I have learned and experienced thus far and turn it into something that I love to do?” Different question, different answer. Questions direct our focus, and therefore how we think and how we feel. When I looked around I realized a lot of students were feeling lost, directionless, and unfulfilled. I found myself illuminating a path that I wanted to walk down. A path just for me. I was amazed that I discovered and created this path through questions.
Take a moment to hold in your mind an obstacle that you are currently facing.
Have you been feeling stumped around how you are going to overcome this obstacle? Have you been putting yourself in a problem solving state by asking empowering questions? Or have you been spinning because of the disempower answers you are getting from the type of questions you are asking. You have the ability to unleash an abundance of personal power.
Whether you are looking for clarity and direction, trying to solve a problem, or are just looking to change your emotional state, remember that the answers are in the questions. Thank you